Muddy brain

Do you ever feel muddy in the brain?  Your mind is going so many directions and you have so many thoughts, but when you try to put one, just one of them, into a clear sentence or idea you can't do it.  That's how I am today.  There are so many sad things that have happened in the past few days...everyone's talking about the Casey Anthony trial...and one of my friend's husbands is in the hospital with a situation that could be really serious, another friend was in the hospital for 9 hours (the hospital had lost power and was running on generators) because he hurt his neck diving into shallow water...and I heard last night of someone else with cancer - it just doesn't seem fair.  It's hard to know what to pray, but sometimes my prayer is simply, "Lord, take what was meant for evil and turn it into good." 
Take all of those "muddled" thoughts and pair them with my day to day wanderings (such as "little D" and the path his life will take), and it can make me a mess.  Much uncertainty.  So I went to my journal today.  I ended with a realization that really is not a new one.  I am a worrier.  I told God I'm sorry that I worry instead of trust.  I've done it for as long as I can remember.  He has taught me so much about trusting, but I keep having trouble really latching onto it.  I think it's because I like control.  It's stupid, really, when I think I can control something better than God.  He is sovereign, and I seem to have to continually remind myself of that.  An all-important concept that I somehow keep losing and regaining.  I shouldn't though...look at this:

and this

I took these last night, how beautiful.  How wonderful...I recently heard that if we use the word wonderful there should be wonder about it.  Strawberries are not wonderful and even chocolate brownies are not wonderful (although they make me very happy), but this sunset is WONDERful.  How does he think up and create such beautiful sunsets, different ones every night?  It's easy for him, he has everything planned...just like he has planned every moment of my life.  I need to trust.  And to have a "God entranced vision of all things" (Jonathan Edwards).